Dear Younger Carynn,
It’s just a job! It isn’t who you are, what you’re worth, or anything more than a way to support your lifestyle. Do not let it have a single hint of effect on your home-life because it’s not worth it. It will be hard but leave it all at the office every single day. Further, try to surround yourself with friends that are the same way, even if you work with them. Co-workers make good friends but you don’t want to go out and just talk shop when you’re not on the clock.
When people ask you ‘how is work’ just give them an overview and move on. No one actually cares how its going, they’re just being polite and looking for something easy to ask about. Lead the convo to more important things like your hobbies, your kids, and things that bring you joy.
P.S. You’ll get to work with your husband which is awesome but it won’t last forever so make the most of it : )