I consider myself pretty educated on childrearing. I’m no expert since I haven’t done it myself, but I’ve been around a while and think I’ve seen most things. I felt as ready as I could when the three kiddos moved into our home and for the most part, nothing has surprised me. Being woken up in the middle of the night, no problem. Bathroom issues, I can do this. Tweenage boy behavior, got it. I was doing so good until they settled in and started acting like ‘real’ kids. There reached a point when the honeymoon was over and they felt safe enough to start acting like they wanted to which meant testing boundaries. They wanted to argue and talk back like all kids try to do. I even handled that the way it should be handled… with fair but stern punishment. This is where the poopoo hit the fan.
No one ever mentions the sheer agony of trying to punish your kid without punishing yourself too. I can honestly say I never thought of this as a babysitter because I didn’t have to. But now I have to sit home if I want to make my kid sit home. This sucks! Last night Husbando got to take Lady H to Dairy Queen for a birthday treat while I had to sit at home and babysit the two that are grounded. I LOVE BLIZZARDS! Tonight we are supposed to be going to the OSU baseball game because the weather is perfection and my team is in town. However, my kids went cray-cray this week and decided that lying, backtalk, and not turning in assignments is how they were going to live their lives. The option then becomes 1) some of us miss the family fun time or 2) we all go and they get away with murder. The struggle is real y’all. Agent K was supposed to go to his very first concert with his dad on Tuesday. Does he care about the awesomeness that is going to see Nickelback on a weeknight?! Obviously not more then mouthing off and getting zero’s in Geography. So Husbando misses out on taking him AND has to find a replacement or he lets him have an awesome experience he doen’t even kinda deserve. What do we do? There is no obvious answer.
I had a little come-to-Jesus conversation this morning with them and explained that if they were going to make others miss things important to them, they were going to start missing out on things themselves. Missing the ice cream run last night didn’t seem to bother them that bad so I went harder. I told them if we hear one more sassy comment this week, they will sit in their room during the Easter Egg Hunt this weekend. I also explained if we had to give up one more dollar on unused tickets because of behavior, summer activities/camps would start to be taken away. The guilt hit me on the way to work but Husbando assures me we can’t let them fall into this pattern. We can’t be so selfish in what we want to do that we allow these kids to become brats. I’ve seen that happen with other adopted kids and I refuse to allow that in these. We are going to treat them like they were our own and they get no special privileges except to know we love them enough to do that.