Agent K’s foster dad was a single older man that seemed to have nothing against us except that he was disappointed Agent K was leaving. For a long time it was just the two of them and he deeply cared for our son. We are very grateful for the things he did but we haven’t met him in person. Lady H and Miss D were in an older couple’s home and that couple refused to meet us or put a drop of effort into the kids finding a forever home together. They were unhelpful, uncooperative, and vindictive to our daughters and for that I will not forgive them. They impeded the transition process and we are still paying for their actions.
I have a real problem with several things the girls’ foster parents did. I have evaluated my feelings more than once and talked them out with Husbando. We came to the conclusion we are not being nasty adoptive parents, they are just nasty foster parents. Big shock, right? I don’t hate them because they loved my kids first because I appreciate Agent K’s foster dad for doing just that. He loved him like his own and in fact, I’m entertaining the idea of inviting him to the finalization court proceedings because I want to meet and thank him and allow him to see what he helped create.
I feel like the couple used the girls for income and cute accessories for them to parade around at church. The girls were dressed up in fancy dresses and shoes for church but ratty clothes and shoes that didn’t fit for school and visits with us. Before we were even done with our mandatory visits, the couple had moved another little girl (and her $900 paycheck) into the house. According to my girls, the couple kept most of their books, toys (including their bikes that were Christmas gifts to them), personal products, and clothes for her use. I feel like anything you buy for them with that $1800/month you were given should have been sent with them. Its all they had in the world and they were cheated out of it. This Mama Bear doesn’t appreciate it.
The nasty couple refused to allow us to come to their house to pick up and drop off the kids. Once when the girls called them a couple months after moving in and asked again if we could come pick up their bikes, the foster mother claimed that the new little girls were using the bikes and ruined them so we simply could not come get them. They were devastated. Who does that?! Their aunt and uncle hooked them up at Christmas but that is not the point. I just don’t like them.
The kids had Valentine’s Day photos taken and then I made up homemade cards with the wallet-sized pics attached. There were about 16 and they went to our closest friends and family. Against what I wanted to do, I sent both foster parents a Valentine. I chickened out at Christmas and didn’t send them a card. Our address was on the envelopes and I wasn’t prepared to give them that information. I don’t think for a second they would use the information to actually contact them, but may sell the info to someone if they came knocking on their door.
Anyway, the card obviously made it to them because we got a valentine card back (addressed to us, not the kids) and another envelope with some pics in it of the girls. They are out of focus and obviously candid but the thought was there. I’m taking it as an olive branch and I’ll send them the Easter pic we have made in hopes of getting more cherished photos from before they knew us. Those are as good as gold in my book. I’ll keep you updated…