Madre always taught me not to pray for patience because if you do, you’ll get tested. To that I politely say NO THANK YOU and have restrained the desire to ever ask for that trait. However, God has a sense of humor and the test is real, y’all.
With it being National Adoption Month and me being the only person most of my friends know who has adopted, I’m being bombarded with articles, blogs, pro-adoption pics/quotes and basically everything about adoption ever. I love it 98% of the time but today Husbando sent me a photo contest (that we can’t even enter since we can’t put our kids on the internet) but I spiraled out of control. I went to the I Love Adoption Pinterest board and scrolled quickly through a few of their boards. The last board was about infertility and I thought it was going to be pro-adoption but I was wrong. The last pin on the board was this:
Someone better get me a Xanie because I’m about to go all kinds of ape-crazy up in here. You all are a PRO-ADOPTION account. Why would you post something (or allow it to be posted) like this?! Let me list for you the three top things that irritate me about this.
1. Back in the day (I wasn’t there but lets just pretend it is around the time when Half-Pint was roaming her little prairie) if you weren’t able to conceive, IT WASN’T THE END OF THE FREAKING WORLD. I know it may feel like that for the people going through it now but that is not all their fault. It seems like our society values your ability to push out a baby more than what kind of person you are. Or what skills you have. You just accepted that infertility is what God had given you in life. My grandmother tells me of a time when people didn’t spend a gajillion dollars trying to have a baby, they either went without or they adopted. Both viable and perfectly fine choices. We don’t all have to be the Duggars.
2. People are just trying to help. At least they are giving you a completely justifiable and legitimate alternative because it really is just that simple. If it wasn’t, then you could get mad. I’m fat and when my grandmother suggested I have carrots instead of cookies do you think I made an eCard about it?! No, I put my big girl panties on and realized I could eat the carrots or I could continue to be fat. Either way it was my decision so I couldn’t whine about it. Uh oh, I’m on a roll…
3. This is the big one. It is F-R-E-E to adopt. Free. No money. The state picks up the entire tab, you don’t open your wallet and I mean free. We haven’t paid ONE CENT for a background check, driving record, home study, nothing. In fact, the great state of Oklahoma writes us a check every single month until they turn 18 to continue to take care of these kids comfortably. We pay absolutely zero for health/dental/eye care. We pay zero for therapy, we pay zero for a YMCA memberships, and we even pay zero for our attorney. You cannot tell me that you don’t adopt because you don’t have extra money laying around. You may not adopt an international newborn for that reason but those come into DHS custody too so just wait it out and you could get that baby girl for free too.
See what I mean? I told you it was working my patience. I’m frustrated that this image exists. I’m frustrated that there were 157 more kids at the adoption parties we didn’t get to bring home and I’m frustrated that my infertile friends feel like they are less than adequate people because they can’t have babies. But babies aren’t the only way to make a family and if you want to bad enough, you can get it free.
I’ve got to go iron my best dress because I’m sure the head of the I Love Adoption Pinterest account is going to call and ask if I will be their new Face of Adoption. I’m just so poised and refined like that.