Am I In Charge Or Not?



I wish DHS would make up their mind if I am in charge of my own kids or not. One day I call a former doctor for some of their medical records to be sent to a new doctor and they say I can’t have them because DHS has to request them. The next day I call DHS and they say they won’t call because we should be doing that.

The next week I call the kids’ old school and request a very important document that their new school is waiting on. The school says we’re not a legal parent and that DHS will have to request/find it. I then call DHS and am told to ‘act like you are already in charge and hunt the things down just like you are their parent’. I’m sorry, are you under the impression I’m pretending to be their parent?

The following day I am forced to schedule an appointment with my caseworker so she can stop by. Her available day happens to be the day the girls are starting Taekwondo and her only meeting time options were dinner time or 4pm when I am at work. SO convenient. If I’m supposed to act like their parent, I’m going to half-ignore you and feed them because you’re invading OUR time now. Don’t keep me from helping them get ready, putting food in their bellies, or working on a new routine.

My irritation/complaint/problem is really that there should be a more consistent way to let me act like their parent. You let me fix their boo-boos and tuck them in at night so make sure I am also able to look out for their larger needs like education and eyesight. I refuse to believe it isn’t in everyone’s best interest for that to be the case. Its called trial adoption for a reason. We’re trying to really give this a shot. We OBVIOUSLY aren’t going to fail and we OBVIOUSLY have kept them alive for 10 solid weeks so can we all just pretend that if I ask for something I really need it? Or that if I request a document, its for their best interest? I am very happy and grateful for these new things I need to worry about and work on. But please let me actually do it DHS.


One response »

  1. We have been RIGHT where you are now! In some ways, even though our adoption was final in April, we are STILL dealing with this issue. I think I got to a point where if one more person told me that I wasn’t their Mother, or that they weren’t mine yet…I was going to go to jail for punching someone in the face. Just keep telling yourself….6 months is not forever….then take a big deep breath, and do a happy dance on your gotcha day!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s