Monthly Archives: April 2014

Third Try Is A… Charm?

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Saturday is yet another adoption party. I know it feels like we go to one every other day but its really just our third. DHS holds only three a year (in different areas of the state) and this last one is said to be the best.  Why, you ask? Supposedly there are pony rides and other awesome things for the kids to do. Bonus! When I asked our worker today if Single Rider was going to be there… she said yes! We will get to meet and (hopefully) spend time with her in order to get to know her a little better. We still haven’t been authorized to read her file or anything but it would be nice to put a face with this young lady we’re very interested in. Normally we wouldn’t meet her until we were approved to adopt and had a week of reviewing her file. I’m pretty excited! Plus, there will be a whole new book of kiddos to meet and play with there too. 

Husbando is calm, cool, and collected. I am a nervous wreck down to obsessing about what to wear when you meet your potential child(ren). What does one wear for that particular event especially when the child is 17 and knows you’re faking cool. With a younger kid, they don’t know that you’re not cool, just that you’re there. Maybe its because today is the ten year anniversary of Mean Girls or maybe I’m just super self-conscious but I’m stuck between trying to look cool and trying to look like I’m not trying. Thats what teenagers go for, right?! Do I wear one of my signature hair accessories or try to look more mature in hopes the workers will take me serious? Ugh… Guess it will just be a gameday decision. Also, can we take selfies? Don’t you think we would want pics of the first time we met if she ends up being our daughter? They can’t tell this scrapbooker she can’t, right? Ugh again. 

So wish us luck and I will report back as soon as possible! 

Then This Happened

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We are back from vacation and I am trying to get back to the reality that is my full-time job. To be honest, its sucking. I want to be on the open road somewhere between here and Canada again. I want to be standing next to the world’s largest wind chime. I want to be stumbling upon fun stuff from my roadside attractions app. But sadly I cannot always be so I will just have to fake it until my Powerball numbers get called. More on the trip in some future posts. Let me get to the real reason I’m writing.

Today we were feeling a little down that we didn’t hear anything the last three weeks about our two potential matches, Miss Single Rider and The Three Muskateers. We were told no news from their workers means we aren’t a match but not to expect to be let down gently, just silence. Thus, we thought we had our hopes up only to be let down again. I, being the stubborn woman I am, couldn’t accept that and decided I needed to hear a ‘no’ for real. I guess I wasn’t giving up so easily. I caved and sent an email asking if she had heard anything about Miss Single Rider. The response is below:

Hello, the worker indicated that (insert real name I can’t share) was very interested in meeting you as soon as we get adoption authorization. I requested an update just now on where we are in the process. As soon as I hear of an authorization I will notify you. 

Thanks,

Miss Adoption Worker

I’m sorry, is that a tear running down my cheek?! Dang. I thought I had it pulled together but obvi not. Can you see the words up there? The ones where it says she is ‘very interested in meeting’? Holy cow. No matter how much I try not to think about her hearing those words and feeling like maybe she could still find a family, even at 17, I can’t NOT think about it. Can you imagine being just months from aging-out of the system and hear the words that someone still thinks you’re worth becoming their family? I know I’m getting ahead of myself by assuming she will fit with us before we’ve asked a single question or seen a single paper but I can’t help it. I’m a planner and in my mind, I’m always planning for things to go my way. Duh.

Anyway, there is your update. It was a bummy day and then that happened right before I had to give a presentation to an auditorium full of students. I killed the presentation and even made 65 international kids laugh out loud. I was feeling so good, I mowed my neighbor’s lawn in hopes of some good karma. Hey, I’ll take what I can get these days.

I’m Moving to Canada

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Just kidding. We are just going on a little vacation and I can’t wait to show you all the pics when I get back. Until then, lets update you on the fact that we can’t update you because we have no updates. No, haven’t talked to our worker. No, haven’t heard anything about Miss Single Rider or the Three Muskateers. No, not worrying about it because I am SURE they will call us the minute we head out of town. Well I am not even stressed about putting this process another week behind because at this point, what is another week?! We are hitting the open road and having the time of our lives again! On the list this trip? World’s largest fork, world’s largest gavel, flying saucer diner and much more.

 

 

We Interrupt This Radio Silence…

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Monday I emailed our worker to add Miss Single Rider to our interest list. I guess I quickly embraced the new made-us-feel-super-important way our workers were attending to us and forgot what the waiting game was like. I like to block out painful memories quickly I guess. So not hearing from our worker, even to acknowledge I sent the email, kinda surprised me. Its still no news. Thanks to all who are interested enough to keep asking. I promise I will update when I hear from her.

UPDATE 4:45PM: Our worker emailed me and asked if we could call her at 11 tomorrow. Call?! OMG this must mean some real news, right?! No idea what I’m going to do until tomorrow morning. Grow an ulcer probably… 

UPDATE 10:15AM: My ulcer is alive and well and going to have to wait a little while longer. She emailed to say 11 won’t work, make it 11:45. Fine!

UPDATE 11:45: I meet Husbando in his office and just in time since he had the phone number half-entered when I strolled in. Below is the convo. It went very well.

Worker: This is ‘Worker McWorkerson’.

Us: Hi Worker, this is ‘Mr. and Mrs. Wants To Adopt’.

Worker: … Hi…

Us: We were just calling you b/c you told us to?…

Worker: *crickets* … Hello?…

Us: Hello! MR… AND… MRS…WANTS-TO-ADOPT…?

Worker: Oh, ok! Well we had a lot of interest in your home study from both Miss Single Rider’s worker and the worker for Three Pack. There may be more coming but I already heard from those two. Single Rider’s worker is SO excited! As you know the worker picks her top three and then forwards them on to her supervisory committee to make the top decision.

At this point our eyes are wide and we’re smiling at each other and are barely hearing what all she has to say. *insert cheesy joke about them liking us… them REALLY liking us*  The moral of the story was that we can’t have them both so if we were chosen for more than one, we have to go in, read all the papers, think and pray on it and decide which one. THAT will be hard but I’m not so worried about it b/c I think at that moment, God will make the decision easy on us. We will know what to do, I’m sure (famous last words).

She said it should be next week that we hear about if we are chosen or not. We will patiently wait. Or un-patiently wait. Either way, we wait.

Miss Single Rider On My Mind

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Today is Monday and I have not been able to get that little Miss Single Rider off my mind. I can’t get the other kiddos off my mind but her in particular. I think its because we didn’t put her on our list and the ‘what if’ factor is there. At the concert of my life Saturday night I was thinking about her. When having a slumber party with my nephew I was thinking about her. While getting dressed for a funeral I was thinking about her. I don’t do well with missed opportunities!

So I called Husbando and asked him if he kept thinking about it. He said yes. I asked him if he thought we missed an opportunity. He said yes. I asked him if we were crazy for thinking a teenager this old was good for us. He said yes again. Finally I asked him if I should email our worker that we wanted to add her to our list of inquiries just to see if she was still available or even still wanted to be adopted. He said yeeeesss! So I did and now I’m at peace.

I’ve been thinking about the adorable squirts we had lunch with too. I’ve been thinking about all the kids we’ve inquired about this month and seeing all their little faces in my daydreams. I do something one said they like to do and wish they were with me or I put on a color one said was their favorite and I realize that as crazy as it makes me feel, this is exactly what I should be doing. If I don’t think about them, there is probably a reason. If I feel like they may fit in our family then I should. Unfortunately at this point, that means I need to buy 23 sets of bunk beds :  )

Adoption Party Episode 2

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Another day, another Adoption Party.

Today we ventured to the magic land of Oklahoma City. More specifically, we traveled to the ghetto armpit of Oklahoma City known as the ‘Northside’. I felt like I was going to get shot at Sonic but I made Husbando stop before we hit the turnpike because mama needed a cherry limeade after the day we had!!  We actually had a GREAT time at the party. We got there right on time, signed in, got our book, picked out some good profiles and waited for the kids to arrive. It felt a little less meat market-y this time and for that I was very glad. Our worker AND her supervisor were on us like white on rice. We were introduced to at least 5 different supervisors of our supervisor and several different workers as if we were royalty and everyone had to meet us. We chatted our hearts out, took in all the different decorations and activities, walked around and watched kids have a great time. Everyone made sure we knew what was going on, made sure we knew food was being served, where to go, just all kinds of attention! Thank you Mary Fallin, I appreciate your help : )

So one group of three kiddos (boy and two girls) had a great profile and luckily they were there. We watched at a distance for a while then when they could finally all be pulled from the bouncy castles, we were introduced and got to sit down to have lunch with them. For fear of too much sharing, I’ll just say they were very adorable and articulate kids who were all old enough that I wouldn’t have to change diapers!! BONUS! They were pretty rowdy but who wouldn’t be if they were hyped up on cupcakes and inflatables? We both got to have a little alone time with them to talk about what we like to do and we got to all sit and eat hotdogs together. It really was a nice time and exactly what I wanted to happen all along.

We got to see one other group from afar (everyone wants three little people under 6 apparently) and we liked what we saw so we wrote them down as a potential interest too. During a down time we got bored and read the single child profiles. Since we want siblings, we usually skip right to the back of the book where they always are. We were skimming and then my jaw hit the table… I re-read the profile, looked at the pic, re-read the profile, stared hard at the pic while I made Husbando read the profile then we just looked at each other and grinned for a solid 10 beats. He says ‘you’ve got to be kidding me…’ and I say ‘I know…’ and he says ‘this is not the plan’ and I say ‘I know’ and he says ‘are you ok with this’ and I say ‘I think so’. This girl and us are SO alike. We have the same hobbies and music style (and how many people like Christian rap?!) and she seems, at least on paper, that she is a perfect piece of our puzzle. Only issue? She is very close to aging out of the system. We need to ask fast!

I call our worker over and ask if this young lady is at the party. She told me to go check the table and see if she is checked in. I do it and she has not. So I go back and ask our worker what would happen if we found this one girl and another group and liked both. She said you usually aren’t allowed to pursue more than one group at a time and its usually a year from move-in that you can start the process over if you want more kiddos. That def puts a wrench in our plan. So we decide to only write down the two sibling groups on our sheet (mostly b/c we got to see and interact with them) and then think and pray about what to do with Miss Single Rider.

At Sonic, we are quiet. On the turnpike, someone finally breaks the silence and we get excited for the Cher concert in a few hours. We kinda push Single Rider to the back of our minds. Or at least we try. I caught myself thinking about her at least 5 times during the biggest concert of. my. life. Tomorrow I head to Norman for a funeral and will be home Monday evening. Hopefully we start getting news in the next couple weeks about these kiddos so we can keep moving forward. Yea for progress and communication!

 

Dear Governor Fallin, Part II

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You guys, I’m sorry. I thought I published this a week ago but obviously I did not. I don’t have the energy to re-write it a week later so just pretend, ok? KThanksBye : )

Previously I mailed a letter to our wonderful Governor, Mary Fallin. Don’t remember? Well just scroll down a post. I explained how very frustrated we were with the DHS system and although I did not think we would hear anything about it (at least not very soon), we got a phone call from our worker’s supervisor Wednesday at 4:30 pm. Husbando was away from his phone when she rang so he returned her call 30 minutes later. I was not surprised that she didn’t answer because it was  obviously goin’ home time. I WAS surprised she called back at 5:30. We had just ordered dinner at a restaurant and were waiting on our food when he answered. The conversation was exciting because we cling to any bone anyone ever throws to us but disappointing that it was no new news. She made one small comment that Husbando and I found interesting that went something like ‘yeah, you guys seem pretty open and don’t really have strict requirements so I am kinda surprised you haven’t gotten farther in the process by now’…

Um, this is exactly our thought! This is EXACTLY why I can’t understand not calling or writing us back when we contact you! Or why we always have to contact DHS ourselves! Anyway, back to the convo. She made Husbando tell her our preferences for the 4th time, our info for the 76th time and we had to hear ‘it just takes time’ for the 1,454,761st time. WE GET IT! We aren’t mad its taking a while. We know we will get them when we are supposed to. We are upset about your office and its procedures that hurt everyone involved. Fast forward to yesterday. We made our way to the DHS office at lunch for our meeting. Our worker was very nice and came in and sat us down to do our thing. Her supervisor showed up and introduced herself to us. Apparently she forgot that we’ve met twice before but ok, some people aren’t good with things like that. She gave us her card and left. It was awkward but luckily our worker was very professional and polite so we got through it.

We handed in yet another long list of kids we like (some repeats from previous times) and we are hopeful. Our worker has already responded to us about four different groups so the communication floodgate feels like it may have been sprung open a bit.  We have an adoption party Saturday so I’m hopeful now that we know what to expect at these. I just desperately want to sit and have lunch with some kiddos so lets hope that happens. Will update… Promise!