…and I’ll cry if I want to. Of course I did, I’m a crybaby. It was worse than I thought it could possibly be so I’ll try to keep it short. First, I’ve been defeated for several weeks now with not getting a single word from our caseworker. I didn’t get a reply to my email I waited two weeks to send THEN there was an unanswered voicemail a week later. I called and left a message asking to talk about the party (that was two days away at that point) and about the four groups of kids we asked to be recommended for. Radio silence.
Frustrated, we showed up to the party with very little info about how it would go down. We paused in the car about five minutes while I prayed for strength to make myself go in. When we arrived we were checked in, received our name tags and given ‘the book’ (a book containing kid pics and profiles from which you pick kids to spend time with at the party). Our worker spotted us right away and she seemed excited to see us, apologizing for not returning my call. She showed us to a table, walked us through how everything would work, checked in on us frequently and talked to all the caseworkers for us. Was this a different person than who I have been trying to contact?! Then the bomb was dropped that she is probably transferring to a different department in just a week and had been instructed she had to finish certain tasks ahead of
helping us other tasks. Great.
So knowing this was the last time we would probably get help for a while we thumbed through the book, picked out two different groups to talk to and then my heart dropped. I recognize this little boy but wait… My favorite group from when we looked through files at DHS was down from four kids to two. They split them up. My heart was breaking. In fact, I’m still having trouble with that. I understand the state wants to find a home for two rather than zero but how could someone say they would take two and not their siblings?! Especially when we were willing (and happy) to take all four.
So one group of four we liked is really a group of five AND already spoken for, the group of three wasn’t right for us, another group of four was cut to two and the news just got worse from there. The last kick in the pants came when a very perfect couple walked up with the kids that were spoken for. These were the people who beat us to the punch. I looked at Husbando and I didn’t even have to say it, he just hopped up and helped gather belongings. We walked out, cried the whole way home and hope we never have to go back.
Today Husbando emailed asking who our new contact person will be because we were promised an email on Saturday afternoon and nothing ever came. Shock, I know. After some apologizing (that I can’t decide is sincere or not) we were told we need to continue to be patient and if a new worker doesn’t pick us up, we remain with this same worker rather we want to or not and will try again in November. To me that translates to Christmas alone and it crushes my spirits.
I would like to ask for some prayer that we are not falling through the cracks. We know things take time but feeling like you’re as flexible as it gets and they still won’t match you is starting to weigh heavy on my heart.