I remember the day I heard NKOTB, Boys II Men,and 98 Degrees were coming in concert. No I don’t. Who remembers useless crap like that? But it was such an epic concert and I will remember that actual day forever. What parts you ask? Please allow me to show you…
Have you ever in your life seen a more embarrassing example of middle-aged women needing to act their age? It is painful. What makes it even more painful is the minivan mom wagon we rolled in. We dressed like this to go downtown. To a bar. In public. The only thing distracting people from our smokin’ hott selves was that there was a huge square dancing population dressed in their matching square dancing costumes walking around the same downtown in their little square dancing shoes. Boy did all the tourists get some good shots of the crazies in OKC that weekend.
In an attempt to find parking we drove around a bit and stumbled upon the tour busses. Luckily there was but one security officer so we stopped the mom wagon and started snapping pics.
We whistled at who appeared to be a New Kid and got shooed away by said security dude before we were asked to join them on the party bus. I mean we were OBVIOUSLY going to get an invite but the security guy probably wanted us all to himself. Understandable.
You can fast forward to us going to a bar and almost getting into a brawl with this group of obviously un-cool chicks that were just out for blood. Please note: Do not mess with women dressed in neon with side-ponytails. They will cut you. Or they will stand up and take their chairs with them if you are pissing them off. We barely escaped a Jets vs. Sharks style fight at the bar and headed to the arena. Now we have found our people! We stood in line in approximately 175 degree heat but finally the teeny-bopper flood gates opened! It was a giant estrogen ocean filled with giddy school girl excitement that had audible squeeks and giggles. Oh I miss 8th grade.
Once inside we switched seats no less than a half dozen time because we refused to look this good and be in the rafters. Our final destination ended up being the BEST seats in the house. We were right up from the stage and able to dance without assaulting anyone physically or visually. Right before the concert started they had the logo ‘The Package’ posted on all the screens. I was offended until I realized that it was probably referring to the fact that we saw three concerts in one and so I calmed down. Not that there wasn’t plenty of ‘package’ gyrating all over the stage that night. I mean seriously, we saw full-on make-out sessions and enough pelvic thrusting to leave us all promising to come back in another few years.
On the way home we missed a turn (or seven) and ended up at a sobriety checkpoint. Minivan for the win! They didn’t stop us because duh, we’re in a minivan. Can you imagine if they hadn’t waved us on? Six of us looking like sad, sad 80’s rockers with metallic blue eyeliner running down our faces just wanting to go to bed. When we got home we all sacked out but not before one particular friend fell asleep using her phone. She sat like this for at least 20 minutes. Hilarious.