Warning, this is not a fun/happy/lighthearted blog post. Also, adoption is a wonderful thing no matter how you do it but everyone has an opinion and this one is mine. It is not meant to offend anyone.
Today I am feeling a little heavy. Wait. Not just because of my larger-than-life physique but because I’ve been struggling internally with writing a post on this topic. International vs. Domestic vs. DHS adoption is something only adopting families really have to think much about. Most people don’t even know what the terms mean unless they plan on bringing another human into their home.
The Mother-In-Love asked me last week when and why I knew I wanted to adopt. Not exactly light conversation in a very public restaurant (Bonefish Grill is obviously allergic to dividers) but something I am always happy to share. So I explained it had always been in my heart since I could remember (definitely at least high school) and would have to be something a potential mate and I agreed on before I could commit to spending my life with someone. About half-way through the conversation I hit the wall that I very often hit these days. I have opinions. Strong opinions. No surprise to anyone that knows me. But lately I’ve found myself censoring my opinions so I don’t look like a giant B-word. That time has now passed I guess. The secret? I get all wound up with people who complain about the cost of private adoption but STILL DO IT. If you can afford it, spend your money how you want. BUT, I don’t think its right to spend tens of thousands of dollars to buy a baby you can’t afford. There are entire sites and blogs dedicated to raising money for people to travel half-way around the world to pluck from a foreign cabbage patch. Are you kidding me?! You want me to give you my hard-earned money so you can buy a kid at 30 times the price we are spending on ours? Have you been to your local DHS? How can anyone in the adoption world not know that its practically free, you don’t have to foster (you can go straight to adoption) and there are tons of good (and young) kids you could be helping?! I just don’t understand.
See what I mean? It comes off harsh. I feel like the B-word even typing it but get me a margarita and an audience and I will go to town. I will have everyone in the room ready to call DHS tomorrow to get their own gaggle of munchkins. Peeps, lets spend that $30 G’s on something like oh… college education… food and clothing… family trips together… feeding the family you already have… Lame stuff like that. There I go again. B-Word.
Ok, so there ya go. I wrote it. I put it out there. I am a big giant opinionated person but man do I feel better. Oh and for the love of Pete, please consider talking to me or anyone in the DHS system about adopting before you spend a ridiculous amount of money buying a baby. These kids need a family and you don’t have to go broke to give them that!