Grown-up Sick Days


Sick Couch

I have never been one to use sick days. In fact, I think I have about 745 days saved up at my current job. I guess I’m just always afraid of missing something good! In fact, I never missed one class all through college, something I plan to use against my future children. But one day this week I found myself needing to use a day. Not in the I-sneezed-a-couple-times-therefore-I-must-watch-an-SVU-marathon kind of way but in the I-hope-I-don’t-lose-a-lung kind of way. At 7am I texted the boss lady and went back to the couch I had been dozing on since 3:15am. I turned on the tv for noise but then got completely obsessed with cleaning out the DVR. By 8am, I deleted almost everything I knew wouldn’t get me divorced and then was left with cable. Regular non-fast-forwardable cable? What are these three minute interruptions in my viewing pleasure? Four thousand channels and every one had commercials! I found myself really wishing for the old days.

Back in the day of elementary school I remember sick days being the BEST. THING. EVER. Mom would fix us up and nursemaid like a boss. When we were sick she put sheets on the couch and a tv tray next to it to hold our meds, phone, remote control, tissues, 7-up, etc. Trashcan for trash or… ya know… puke. Then everyone left and it was an entire day of Designing Women, Golden Girls, and Northern Exposure. No one called (or texted since it didn’t exist) because they didn’t want to wake you from a nap. The only thing you had to worry about was getting up to pee and since I have the bladder of a beluga whale, that meant only once, if at all.

Now in my old age (of 30) I find myself cruising the cablebox for things like Disney movies or episodes of Rob & Big. The tides have turned! I have to make my own meals, fix my own “sick couch”, pour my own 7-Up (not that we had any) and do we own a spare trashcan? I’ll give you one guess.

So in an attempt to make this blog have a point, I will relate it back to our poor future children. I hope you appreciate your future Nana for teaching your future Mama how to be one boss of a nursemaid. You better sit at home watching grown-up shows and sipping that bubbly  beverage while you can because eventually your bladder could shrink and you will find yourself disappointed that Sponge Bob is nowhere to be found on any of your 437 channels. Soak it up, kids. Soak it up.


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